Just be thankful I haven't used any footnotes. Yet.

Well HELLO there.

I am Emma, the female portion of The Gretchen Weiners Book Group. I live in England's Ancient Capital™, Winchester. We like to call it England's Ancient Capital™ because then it seems as if we're famous for something other than tired commuters, rosy-cheeked public schoolboys and herds of polite French exchange students. Oh, and the graveyard Joss Whedon used as inspiration for Buffy, which seems more relevant to my target audience. When I'm not avoiding herds of French exchange students, I organise parties for dentists, which is both more and less interesting than it sounds. I used to be a children's bookseller but had to quit because I could no longer afford to feed, clothe and house myself (oh, alright, it was because I could no longer afford to feed my DVD habit; it was about the essentials, at any rate). I still have residual guilt over resigning from a job I loved over something so mercenary. But then I look at my Dawson's Creek - The Complete Collection box set and feel slightly better.

Like Our Illustrious Leader, I wanted to post a picture of myself so you had some sort of image when composing your hate mail. I was torn, though, between two choices: this one, which so perfectly illustrates my default setting of looking down my nose at most things in a Hermione fashion, or this one, which sums up my posting style to a t. Yes, I am a squee-er. I am ALL CAPSLOCK, ALL THE TIME. I take too long to say what others (hello, previous post which is about half the length of mine ALREADY) can say in a few short sentences. I love pop-culture and I am not ashamed to get all squeaky about it.

Other things I love: how fast they talk in Gilmore Girls, baroque pop, Jasper Fforde novels, alphabetizing, knowing all the words to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, older men with dark curly hair and green eyes (hello Rufus Sewell), spending more on giftwrap than on the gift, music from Disney films, Amanda Seyfried, pretty packaging, and movie trailers that give me goosebumps. There aren't many things I don't like, although I sometimes wish there were more. I am not very discerning. I have sat through Gilmore Girls Season Seven more than once, continue to watch Big Brother despite overwhelming pressure to the contrary, and genuinely believe Mamma Mia! to be one of cinema's finest accomplishments. These are not the acts of a person with taste. Just so you're warned.

I think the most important thing you need to know, though, is this: When I left the cinema after watching Mean Girls, I did not leave wanting to be Cady, even though she had the looks and the brains and the friends and the man. I left the cinema wanting to be Regina George. I think this blog - my part of it, anyhow - is for those people. Those of us who secretly - or not so secretly - want to be Queen of the Plastics.